Sunday, April 21, 2013

God has a plan

I can't believe it has been four and half years since Myles came into this world. I knew even when he was just a small bump inside me, that he was special. Now, four years later I have another special angel that God trusted me with bringing into this world. I am filled with so many emotions when I think about these two and how different, yet alike they are. I can see now more than ever that God truly does have a plan for all of us.

Being 18, just out of high schools, and still so young, I had no idea what I wanted in life. What 18 year old does? But I had to figure it out quickly. There was a little boy inside me growing bigger each day. Adoption hadn't even crossed my mind. I would be a bad mother if I could give my own baby up to someone else.. Or so I thought! My mom did it, my sister did it, and they made it through. Surely I could too. The harder I pushed the idea of adoption out of my head the harder the idea pushed back (I realize now that was God trying to tell me not to be so stubborn). Finally I gave into that pit in my stomach and looked into it. I came across this family that I was strongly drawn to. I wanted to read their profile and learn more about them. From the moment I looked at their picture and read their profile I knew thy were a special family and I felt the spirit so strongly. But being where I was at in my life, I didn't listen to that still small voice like I should have. I still decided to meet with them just to keep my options open, but knew I could never actually place my baby for adoption. Again I felt the pressure of the world telling me I would be a bad mom and a bad person if I could give my child to someone else. I met with this amazing couple and again felt the spirit so strongly. Being in the same room with them was almost overwhelming because of the light and spirit they brought to it. After meeting with them a few times and learning their views on life , I couldn't deny they would be and already were amazing parents. I knew they could give this baby a happy life with two wonderful parents and bring him into a loving home. But again, I kept fighting these feelings. I had two weeks until this baby was due and I hadn't officially made up my mind. I did a lot of thinking, crying, praying, and crying some more. I finally decided that instead of praying for a yes or no, I would pray for strength to do what I had to do, and humility to give into the promptings of the spirit that I had been pushing away for so long. Almost immediately I knew what my decision was. I ended up going into labor a week early and bringing Myles into this world on a beautiful warm September morning. I invited his new parents to come to the hospital and share this special moment with me. If you are a mother, you know there is no greater feeling than bringing a child into this world. I knew Myles mom had never had a chance to feel that since she couldn't have children of her own, but I knew in that moment she felt the exact same way I felt and the same way every mother feels. God truly has a plan for all of us. That was the hardest week of my life. I have never cried more. At the same time, I have never been more comforted by the Holy Ghost telling me that what I did was right. Right after Myles was born I found this quote, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference ". I know that God blessed me with all of those things through those 9 months an still blesses me with them today.

Now 4 and half years later, Paxton has come into my life. My decision to place Myles into a loving home with two parent who adore him, has never been more right. As I am sitting here rocking my little baby in my arms knowing that I would do anything ANYTHING for this little angel, I am again comforted knowing I did what was best for my baby. Nothing is stronger than a mothers love. Whether it is the love of a birth mom, or an adopted mom it is the same. I am so grateful I get to have a relationship with Myles still and that Paxton was able to meet him. What a special day that was. I know for a fact that God has a plan for all of us. I am so lucky that I get to be apart of that plan for two special little boys. God has trusted me with so much, and I promise him that I will not let him down.

Monday, February 11, 2013

He's here!

Finally.. Paxton H. Walker is here! He was 7lb 5oz and 19 inches long. Reagan swears he should be longer though because the nurse didn't straighten his legs haha. He is absolutely perfect in every way.

If you have really hard labors and can't stand those women that get it easy, than you might not want to read this post. My doctor asked at my 36 week appointment if I would like to be induced a week early? Umm.. Yes! Who wouldn't want that? The doctor called and scheduled it for January 14th. I wasn't unbearably uncomfortable yet, but I was so excited to meet him and was just ready for him to be here. On Monday January 7th, I woke up at 4am with contractions. I had been having them the night before but they weren't consistent. They were bad enough that I couldn't go back to sleep so I got up showered and started getting ready. All this time I was timing the contractions. They were three minutes apart and pretty strong. Once that had lasted for more than two hours I figured I better wake Reagan up. At that same time I got a text from Annie, my sister in-law saying that her water had just broke. I got so excited thinking we could have them on the same day! We went to the hospital and the contractions were getting worse. They checked me then told me they would be back in an hour to check me again. Sadly enough I wasn't progressing so they had to send me home. I thought for sure that was it. We went out to breakfast after than decided to walk around the mall. Annie and Jake had their beautiful little boy so we went to the hospital to see him. By 3 the contractions started to fade a little. My contractions continued like that all week long. I woke up early every morning with strong contractions and then by late afternoon or night they would fade a little bit, but never fully go away. By Saturday I was so done and called my doctor and asked him if we could be induced on the 13th instead. We seriously couldn't wait another day! Sunday, January 13th, we went to the AF hospital at 7am. They got me settled into our room and at 8am they started the Pitocin. They kept checking me but I had made little progress so at 10am they broke my water. After that things started to pick up. I got my epidural and Reagan and I sat and watched football. His family came and they were all anxiously waiting for the little sour patch to arrive. We all were! Our amazing nurse came in and checked me around 3 and said I was dilated to a 6. She left the room and then not even twenty minutes later she came in and said, "okay, the baby is ready." I thought she was joking, but when I could tell she wasn't I told her I didn't think so. She checked me and sure enough I was 10 centimeters dilated and the babies head was right there! That had gone by so fast I couldn't believe it. They called the Dr. and we all just waited until he arrived. Once he was there we got down to business right away. This is the part where most women will hate me.. I pushed for 3 contractions and a total of 3 minutes before our perfect little angel made it safely into this world! He came out with his hand right by his head an it hasn't left there since. Reagan was amazing through the entire thing. He was making me laugh in between contractions and was so supportive. It was the most amazing sight to watch him hold his son for the first time. Now he has a hunting, fishing, golfing, sport playing buddy for life! You could feel the spirit in the room and could feel that this little miracle had just left the presence of God. Nothing in this world will ever compare to bringing a new life into this world!

Thanks to all the family and friends who have visited and helped us in any way with Paxton. It is amazing how instantly and unconditionally you can love a new baby, and everyone has shown that. Pax is healthy and happy. He is such a good baby and only cries when he is being changed. He hates to be cold! He has changed our lives for the better and we are so blessed to have him in our little family!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Baby Boy Walker

We call him our little sour patch because he looks like a sour patch kid and I eat those on a daily basis :)
Reagan and I were married October 19th 2011, moved into our home April 28th, 2012 and now we are expecting our first baby and a little boy on January 19th 2013. Yes, I know we move fast, but I couldn't be happier with where my life is at right now. Reagan has known from day 1 that I was baby hungry and ready as soon as he was. I knew he wanted to wait a little while so that we could have some time to ourselves and we decided we would wait and see how we felt every few months (I think I begged him for a baby everyday, poor guy!). Finally, we decided that once we got into a home and had space and a room for the baby than we would start "trying". First of all, we did not think we would get into a home so quickly and second, there is no trying in my family and with our genes! Once you even talk about getting pregnant, it's done. From what I have heard from Reagan's parents, that is also the same case with their family. We moved into our house April 28th and found out I was 4 weeks pregnant on May 4th! It was perfect because we were able to surprise both of our Mother's on Mother's Day with the great news. I also found out that my sister-in law and best friend was a week ahead of me in her pregnancy (their pregnancy was not planned, but they are just as excited) and that made me even more excited that our baby would have a cousin so close. It made it even better once we both found out we were having boys. It has been so fun to have someone going through the same steps as me and being able to compare our pregnancies. We also have a sister in-law who is about 3 months ahead of us and having a girl! We made these adorable onsie's with our last name's and the number of grandchild they would be on the Hansen/Covington side. I can't wait to put all of them in their onsie's and be able to take a picture! So far the pregnancy has gone great (other than being sick for about 7 weeks). I haven't had any complications and I am starting to feel him move more and more everyday! He is definitely his father's son. All the food that I normally don't care for but Reagan loves such as, pizza, frozen waffles and burrito's and bread, I am now craving! I also could eat a bowl of ice cream and a bag of popcorn everyday (don't worry, I don't!). I am now 23 weeks and we are counting down the days until he gets here. We still cannot agree or find a name both of us love though, so I am hoping he is not nameless for too long after he is born! With the help of our dear friend Matt, we have the nursery all painted and all the furniture in there as well. I can't wait until all the wall decor is up and it is completely finished. I go sit in the room and rock back and forth in the glider at least once a day just imagining life as a new mom. I know there are going to be many sleepless nights and hard times, but I am so excited to be a mom! Reagan is also extremely excited and has absolutely amazing throughout my pregnancy. He is constantly seeing if I need anything and wanting to do more things to get ready for the baby. He has set up all the furniture by himself and has even surprised me a few times with things on my registry. The other day we were sitting in the nursery and he said, "I just with this room wasn't empty anymore", meaning empty from lack of a baby in there. I thought it was one of the sweetest things I had ever heard and it made me so happy that he is just as excited as I am. I hope the holiday season flies by! January can't come soon enough :).

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

"Home is where the heart is"

And I absolutely love our new home. When we decided to start looking into buying a home instead of throwing our money away with rent, we didn't realize how quick this process could be. After looking through over 10 different houses and not finding what we liked we decided to look into building. We found a builder that was building in the perfect location for us and just the right amount of space! They have been amazing and have built this home so fast..! I can't believe we will be moving in next week. It was so much fun picking out every little detail of the house and being able to make it our style. I was so happy that Reagan and I agreed on almost everything!! That made it so much easier and so much fun. I feel like we should still be in Jr. High hanging out after school.. but here we are, building a home and planning for the future. It has been so fun to watch it be built from the ground up. I can't believe a few months ago it was just an empty lot. We drive to the house to look at it everyday, even if nothing has changed. I don't even know what I am going to do with all this space.. I guess we are going to have to fill it up soon so that all the space gets used ;). Now the fun part of decorating the house is here. I can't wait! What a fun first 6 months of marriage it has been. I can't even wait to see what the next 6 months has for us.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Married Life

I am finally updating my blog.. and WOW do I have a lot to update! First off, I married the most amazing, caring, supportive, and gorgeous man I know. We were married on October 19th, 2011 and it couldn't have been a more beautiful day. Everything went perfect and I couldn't keep a smile off my face knowing I had just been married for eternity to Reagan. I was so overwhelmed with the love and support of our family and friends. I could not believe how many people came to support us and share that special day with us. It was amazing to see how many people emediately loved and accepted me because they love Reagan. I also got the best in-laws ever! I don't care how amazing you think your in-laws are.. mine are better :) Reagan and I always joke that I actually married him for his mom and his family! I am so thankful for my bridesmaids and everyone that put so much time and money into making that day so amazing! It truly was happily ever after!

I couldn't imagine life getting any better.. until we stepped off the plane that had just landed in Maui, Hawaii! I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and finally I was getting my chance. And boy was it everything I had ever imagined. Once we got off the plane we were emmediately met with beautiful lae's that his parents had set up for us. They smelt so amazing I didn't take mine off all night. We spent an amazing 9 days snorkeling, canoeing, swimming, paddle boarding, and touring the island. It was truly paradise and Reagan practically had to drag me to the airport when it was time to go. It was the best honeymoon anyone could have asked for. Every once in a while when one of us is having a bad day we will say "Lets just go back to Hawaii". Needless to say, we LOVE Hawaii!

We are now back to reality and just living the married life. October was such a fun time to get married, because now all the fun holidays are here and we can celebrate them together. Thanksgiving was wonderful and we decided to spend this year with his family. We are still getting use to having to switch off families for different events, but for the most part we do really well. Christmas time has been so much fun setting up our christmas tree, buying eachother presents, and our annual bear lake trip with our friends. I cannot wait for Reagan to open his presents on Christmas morning! It is going to be so fun having it be just us :) I am loving married life so far, and although we are still in the "honeymoon" stage, I know it will just keep getting better and better from here. We are both learning how to depend on eachother and although we are not perfect, we are working on it! Reagan is finding little things about me (like how much my hair falls out all over the bathroom.. gross!) and I am finding little things about him (like how picky of an eater he is!), but we are growing together and it is so amazing. We are both so happy to spend the rest of forever trying to figure the other person out.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

"Kallie Brook Hansen, will you marry me?" Those are the best words I have heard! This weekend was a very eventful and amazing 4th of July! Now I have a new reason for it to be my favorite holiday! Saturday, July 2nd Reagan and I had a great day planned. We spent all morning in the pool, then went out to an early dinner and headed to the Stadium of Fire! I love Brad Paisley and it was such an amazing time. In my book, it was a perfect day. Little did I know it was about to become even more perfect (if that is even possible!). On our way home from the fireworks Reagan told me to text his mom and tell her how far away we were from the house. I wasn't thinking too much about it, and she responded and said that Brennan (reagan's little brother) really wanted to play games with us. When we got to the house Brennan was in the middle of setting up monopoly and asked if I would help. Reagan said he would be right back and had to go do something. A few minutes later his mom came and grabbed me and asked if I would help her with something outside. As soon as I walked downstairs I had a feeling something was up. She told me to walk outside. I was taken away by the beauty of the backyard! There was a path lined with lit candles, rose petals, and gerber daisies-my favorite flowers. It was truly breath taking. There were even flowers and candles in the pool and hot tub. After I had taken in all of my surroundings I saw Reagan dressed up waiting for me under the gazebo. I was so nervous and excited all at the same time! It was the longest walk of my life to meet him up there and all I could think of was "please don't trip please don't trip". I will spare you the very sweet and romantic words he said to me, but he got done on one knee and aksed me to marry him! Every girl pictures this moment from the time she is very little. We all have this idea of what a perfect moment would be.. This was even better than anythign I had ever imagined! The only word I can think to describe it is perfect! A perfect ending to a perfect day :)

Friday, June 24, 2011

Alright people, bear with me. This is my first time blogging and I have no idea what I am doing. I just see everyone talking about their blogs and how cute other peoples are and thought I would give it a try. My life as of lately has been crazy but AMAZING! There are so many wonderful things going on in my life all at once!

First of all, my gorgeous little sister Haley is getting married!! Her and her boyfriend have been dating for a few years now and I couldn't be happier for the two of them. They are both such amazing people. I am so excited for them to get their new life started. My sister has been a rock for me these last couple of years. Not only have we shared a bedroom (and a bed) for the past couple of years, but we have shared every moment together as well! She has been there for me when I was happy, sad, stressed, and depressed. I look up to her in so many ways-all but in height-:) and couldn't ask for a better roomate! I know Korbin is going to take care of her and although I am going to cry my eyes out because she is getting older and moving on, I couldn't think of better hands to place her in! Congrats to Haley and Korbin!

Second of all, my wonderful, loving, caring and sweet sweet mother is getting married as well! I told you there were a lot of exciting things going on! My mother is one of the most amazing women I know. She has been such a great example to me and has alwasy been able to read me like a book. She knows when I am having a bad day and need someone to talk too and she knows my true feelings even if I don't know them yet. She is getting married in August to a great guy named Mark. I can see how happy he has made her just in the few short months they have been together. I have seen a change in her that is unbelievable. She is giddy and happy all the time. It just rubs off on me and anyone else in the room. I can see how happy he makes her and that is good enough for me. I am so excited for her and Mark and know they will be great together. I am so glad she has found someone that will treat her the way she deserves to be treated; like a princess!

And last, but most certainly not least... I have found the most kind, gracious and loving boy and girl could EVER ask for! Well, I didn't really find him. He has actually been right in front of me for the last 10 years! Anyone who knows me and grew up with me probably has a good idea of who I am talking about.. Reagan. Let me start from the begging. Reagan and I have know each other since the 7th grade! Long time I know.. I don't even remember exactly how we met but I do remember that we were friends instantly. No questions asked. Even back then he was such a great guy. He was always the "nice guy" as he likes to call it. The guy girls could go to for advice and the guy girls could trust. That is one of the many things I absolutely love about him. I could trust him with my life. He use to talk to me about how the nice guys always finish last and how he didn't like being just the nice guy. He wanted to be more. I would always tell him, you just wait because someday when everyone grows up and the girls aren't looking for a boyfriend they are looking for a life partner, that is when the "nice guy" will win. (little did I know I was talking about myself :)). We stayed good friends all through junior high and even when we parted ways for high school. Sometimes when you get older and move different ways you loose contact with people or only catch up every once in a while. That has never been the case with us two. For some reason we have always stayed close and always kept up on eachother! We always had a deal that he would take me to one of our proms. We tried dating a little bit in high school, but I loved our friendship and decided I didn't want to risk loosing him as a friend if anything did happen. We both dated other people, but again stayed close. I moved to Key West with one of my best friends and a little later he got his mission call to Colombus, Ohio. Before we knew it, it had been almost 3 years since we had seen eachother! We wrote while he was on his mission just keeping that good friendship we had always had. We talked about nothing and everything all at the same time. If anyone has ever had to write someone either because they are on a mission, in the military, or for whatever reason, you will know what I mean when I say I feel that letters are so much more personable. We are all use to texting and being able to use facebook to get ahold of people. When you only get a letter ever week or every other week they become a little more special and you realize the important things you want to put in those letters. I felt like I become closer to him than ever with those letters. It came time for him to come home from his mission and for some reason I started to get really nervous.. Why? We had always been just good friends and nothing more. I couldn't decide if it was just because I was excited to see him after 3 years, or if by some chance it might be more. It was one of those things where I knew I would have to see him in person before I would get my answer. He came home and 3 weeks later had his homecoming. That was the first time I had seen him. Me being the deep sleeper that I am woke up late the morning of his homecoming. I hurried and got ready praying that I wouldn't miss his talk. Luckily I made it there just in time and by some miracle got a seat close enough to where I could see him. My heart was racing so fast I thought everyone around me could feel it. Maybe it was the 10 years of friendship all in one, maybe it was the letters, or maybe it was the fact that we had both grown up and now had a good idea of what we wanted in life, but either way I knew this time things were different. Just by that one look, I knew my feelings had changed. I could never understand how people could just look at someone and say "I am going to be with that person someday" and mean it, until that day. I still took a couple weeks to figure my feelings out and decide for sure what I wanted to do. I knew once I made a decision it would be a decision that would change both of our lives. Well remember earlier how I said we had always promised each other we would go to prom? We never did. Eventually I actually forgot about it. For our first official date Reagan told me he had something special planned. I had no idea what he had up his sleeve but decided to go along with it.. He picked me up and it had been raining really hard for the past couple of hours. He had said he wanted to go up the canyon, but we had to change plans. We went to his house and into his backyard instead. He had set up a fire in their backyard under their back patio. (I later learned he had to go out and buy that fire pit and also set it up because of the rain). It was perfect. He had smore's all ready to be made. It was so cute. I was so impressed he went to all that trouble for a first date. Little did I know it wasn't over yet. We made our smore's and talked for a while. Then he asked me "Remember how I promised you I would take you to prom? Well I always keep my promises". Then he pulled out the most beautiful corsage I have ever seen and asked me If I would go to prom with him. I wanted to cry it was so cute! He got up and turned on a playlist he had made and asked me if I wanted to dance! It was hands down the best prom I had ever been too. Right then and there I knew no guy would ever stand a chance against him. This night showed how sweet, compasionate and loving he was. I felt like I was part of a movie. Nothing like this happens in real life. I had truly found my prince charming. Tacky I know.. but so true! We have spent every day together since then and I couldn't be happier. I am finding out every day how special of a person he is and how lucky I am to have him as a best friend and now a boyfriend. Long story I know, but special enough I felt the need to share it.